When it comes to parenting advice, we’ve come a long way. Or at least, we hope we have.
In the 1800s, the approach to child rearing was… let’s just say, a little different. Rooted in strict social codes, religious doctrine, and an overwhelming fear of moral collapse, Victorian parenting was less about nurturing and more about obedience. Here are five bleak but fascinating insights into how children were raised during this era.
Children Were Born Sinful
Many Victorians followed the idea of “original sin”—the belief that children were born with a sinful nature and needed guidance, structure, and correction from the start. Even babies weren’t considered innocent in a spiritual sense. Religious education began early, often with prayers, memorised scripture, and strong moral lessons before they could even read.
Don’t Coddle the Baby
There was real concern that too much affection would make a child weak or dependent. Soothing, cuddling, or picking up a crying baby too quickly was frowned upon. The “cry it out” method wasn’t a strategy—it was a rule. Mothers were even advised not to let their babies sleep in the same room as them, lest it make them clingy.
Discipline Was Love
In Victorian households, discipline was deeply linked to morality. A well-disciplined child was a good child. Smacking, spanking, and caning were common—and not seen as abuse, but as a parent’s duty. Gentle parenting this was not. Many parents believed it was better to be feared than ignored.
Thumb-Sucking Panic
Victorians were obsessed with stopping thumb-sucking. It was believed to cause not just dental issues, but facial deformities and signs of moral failure. Remedies ranged from tying the child’s hands to putting bitter-tasting substances on their thumbs—or even fitting small metal cages over their hands at night.
The Sentimental Side
Despite their rules and discipline, Victorians also had a deep love for the idea of childhood as a precious, fleeting phase. Children’s books, painted portraits, and family heirlooms often captured children as angelic and idealised. Many families spent considerable money and effort preserving a soft-focus version of their child’s life, even if the day-to-day reality was stricter.
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